New App Teaches Guys How To Eat Pussy

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New App Makes Users Lick Their Screens To Learn How To Go Down On Girls

We admit it, ladies.

As much as we may love spending time with our old buddy Colonel Angus, the majority of us have no clue what we’re doing down there.

If only there were some training regimen to strengthen our licking techniques, one that could turn any tongue-twisted amateur into a professional muff diver.

There aren’t any lesbians willing to hold any seminars, but a San Francisco team has given us the next best thing in the form of an app appropriately called Lick This.

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Using simple touch-screen technology, the app engages users in a series of tongue exercises such as flicking a light switch and turning a crank by literally licking the screen.

If it sounds odd, that’s because the creators obviously did not take Lick This too seriously.

“Do we think you’ll be a better lover because of it? No,” co-creator Chris Allick told Fast Company. “Do we think it’s an interesting approach to human computer interaction and making people think about their sexuality and maybe start a conversation? Totes.”

The team works at Goodby, Silverstein & Partners, but goes by the name Club Sexy Time.

According to Fast Company, they came up with the idea for Lick This at the Dali Museum.

“We were in a surrealist mindset,” says Allick.

Their first idea was an app called “The Lick Olympics,” but co-designer Pablo Rochat quickly “figured, correctly, that people would gravitate towards bawdy humor more than just the fact you can lick your phone.”

Licking your screen obviously sounds a little dirty, so Club Sexy Time advises users to cover their phones in plastic wrap before engaging.

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The app features just three exercises at the moment but the team promises more are on the way.

“People in the office have contributed other options,” says Rochat. “Moving a zipper up and down, solving a maze, ringing a doorbell.”

We especially recommend Lick This for Samsung users as opposed to Apple customers since you never know when you’re going to run into someone with a bit more to work with, if you catch our drift.

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The point of sharing this?

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