27 things men do in bed that women hate

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1. ‘When they try to recreate sex positions that they’ve obviously seen on some online porn site, and you end up basically doing a headstand, looking a mess and having to listen to them say: “You’re loving that aren’t you babes?” Err, no.’

2. ‘When you’re on top and they’re just staring at you and it’s like, ahhh what face do I pull? So you just close your eyes and hope for the best.’

3. ‘When they ask YOU to put the condom on. Just no.’

4. ‘When they think it’s sexy to spank you so hard that you just want to turn around and punch them in the face.’

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Sex in films is always so much more perfect than reality (Picture: Fox)

5. ‘When they just stop, and it’s like, “hello? Did you hear me orgasm?” No.’

6. ‘Asking “do you like that?” How about just don’t talk and see if I look like I don’t want to kill myself/watch Family Guy over your shoulder.’

7. ‘When you give them a blow job and they act as if you don’t have a gag reflex. How about I’m sick all over your penis?’

8. ‘When they ask you to strip (which is always awkward – what music do you put on?) and then your skinny jeans get stuck round your ankles.’

9. ‘When they see random things they’ve read online and think they’re a good idea. Err no, I don’t want ice rubbed all over my body.’

10. ‘When you’re in the middle of foreplay and they thrust a finger up your bum with NO warning.’

11. ‘When they drag it out because they’re waiting for you to orgasm first. You’re going to be waiting a while for that…’

12. ‘Trying to go down on you in the morning when you’re feeling really unsexy and unclean. Just gross.’

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Everything we’ve learnt about sex came from Sex And The City, we’ll admit it (Picture: New Line Cinema)

13. ‘Putting their fingers everywhere at once like they’re playing some sort of instrument. Far too confusing, you just don’t know what’s going on down there.’

14. ‘When they think it’s a good idea to stick objects in you. Just no.’

15. ‘Casually trying to have anal sex without asking and without lube. It does not just slip in there.’

16. ‘Being so aggressive with their hands during foreplay that they pretty much give you internal bleeding.’

17. ‘Nipple biting. It just f*****g hurts.’

18. ‘Pulling your hair so hard you scream and your eyes water.’

19. ‘Baggy boxers. Eww.’

20. ‘Man stubble. And not the type that’s on his face.’

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We’d be pretty happy having sex with Zac Efron tbh (Picture: Warner Bros)

21. ‘When a bloke wants to do 69 but insists he’s on top, so you basically suffocate under him. Vom.’

22. ‘Eating fried chicken before a blow job. Pretty much the worst taste imaginable.’

23. ‘When men rush foreplay and think you’re going to orgasm from 27 seconds.’

24. ‘Wanting to ejaculate on your face, in your hair, in your eyes.’

25. ‘Being passive aggressive when they can’t make you orgasm. So sexy.’

26. ‘Trying to remove underwear with their teeth. What even is that?’

27. ‘Not cleaning properly. It’s not attractive to taste urine.’

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The point of sharing this?

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If Ladies could listen to our advice, it will be to their own good because guys are not what they always appears when in happy mood. Never send your nude photos/videos to any man no matter how you love him. Your nudes are not so cheap that money/relationship can pay for them. When the relationship ends, you will be under the power of whoever has your nudes. A word to a wise lady.

My take: Never ever on any circumstance allow yourself to be video taped in any form whatsoever in the name of love or fun. The consequences can be really disastrous! Beware!

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