So this took place about a year ago. I was hanging out at home during a weeknight (a Thursday I believe) when I had the sudden urge to consume a few alcoholic beverages. I invite a few of my buddies over and we are just hanging out casually drinking. We get to that certain point of the night where the alcohol has kicked in full effect and we are just acting plain belligerent. My one friend, for the sake of the story we will call him Jim, says he knows of this older woman who would totally be down to have a train run on her. Naturally our first response is “fuck yeah, let’s go get her”.
So the three of us pile into Jim’s car and begin our conquest to get this woman. We show up to her house in about 15 minutes and we wait for her to come outside. As soon as she stepped out of the door I knew we had a winner. Have you ever looked at a woman and though ‘man I bet she takes a lot of dick’? Well that’s exactly what crossed my mind.
We begin the awkward car ride home and make it there in record time. The four of us sit outside and puff back a couple of cigarettes before she raids my roommates liquor stash. Luckily he was sleeping or we would have had issues. After about 6 beers and half a bottle of jack, this weathered princess is slowly coming out of her shell and talking up a mad game. By now me and the guys are pretty pumped up so myself and my other friend, Dave, head to the basement waiting on her and Jim. After about 5 minutes of waiting, we hear something coming from upstairs. We go to investigate and find the wench straddling that greedy bastard Jim in my friends bed. Out of respect for my friends mattress (and of course for my own personal intentions) I demand they continue this in the basement. We all head down stairs and sit on this large couch. It was in order, me, the skank, Dave then Jim. Jim being closest to the light decides it would be best to turn off the lights.
So by now it’s time to just go for it. I daringly place my hand in her thigh and she grabs in and pulls it away while saying “I can’t, I’m with Jim”
Game over right?
She grabs my hand after a mere 3 seconds and rams it up her skirt and leans in to kiss me.
I didn’t want her lips on mine so I grabbed the back of her hair and in one swift motion, pulled out my dick, drug her off the couch, and began playing tonsil hockey with this woman.
I received 30 seconds of the worst blow job ever before I threw her to the floor and started pounding away. The two Nimrods decide to sit on the couch and not do anything. I wasn’t going to do this alone so I beckoned them to join in. One took the face and the other took the free hand. We rotated a cycle for awhile before things started getting weird. She began screaming “I love you Jim. I want to be with you Jim” and all kinds of crazy babble that you don’t yell while getting plugged air tight. So in the midst of my turn I felt something wet and warm all over my lap. At the time I thought she was just ungodly wet. I started getting turned off by the nonstop love confessions, so I quickly put my clothes back on and began looking for my phone. Which was somehow located in her ass crack. I stand up and say “smile for the camera” and take a picture of her getting destroyed as proof of our triumphs. I go upstairs and soon to follow is Dave. 10 minutes or so later we hear yelling and crying. Come to find out, she wasn’t too pleased a out the picture. So I go downstairs to find her attempting to crawl up the stairs with Jim halfheartedly carrying her. She starts yelling at me and what not, me being too drunk for this shit, guided her out of the house with speed. I closed and locked the door. Shut the blinds and headed to the basement. this is when I discovered that the aforementioned “warm wetness” was actually urine. I figured that out by the numerous piss puddles staining my carpet. On of said puddles had her panties gingerly resting in the middle. I grabbed a ski pole and picked up her panties and dumped them in the trash. I then cleaned the piss and took a shower to rinse the urine and shame from my body.
Needless to say, none of us ever heard from her again.
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