How To Deal With A Jealous Boyfriend

At first, jealousy may not seem like the big problem. After all, your boyfriend’s jealousy can make you feel wanted, protected, loved and cared for.

But jealousy usually turns bitter and into a big problem, and it happens fast. Besides that, no healthy relationship should be built on jealousy.

Luckily, jealousy is a problem that can be dealt with as long as both parties are willing to make compromises and be understanding. All relationships need some give and take.

But, when a relationship is under the strain of excess, needless jealous things can go from rosy to resentful very fast. Here’s how to deal with a jealous boyfriend and make your relationship stronger than ever before.

What is the reason?

There are many reasons why your boyfriend may be jealous. And not all of them have to do with you. In some cases, it could be a matter of insecurity, but in other cases, it could be a matter of trust—which is a problem. He could either have a lack of trust in others or in you; neither of them are ideal situations.

It is easier to deal with it if he doesn’t trust other people. Simply reassuring him can go a long way, or inviting him to take part in your life more, to meet your colleagues and friends.

But, the first and most important step is to acknowledge there is a problem. Before knowing what the problem is, you need to accept that there is one (which isn’t always easy to do) and it’s something you’ll have to do as you can’t fix the problem or decide what to do if you’re ignoring the jealousy.

Once you’ve both accepted the reality of the problem, you can both sit down and get to the heart of the issue.

The heart of the issue

The most important step in dealing with a jealous boyfriend is getting to the heart of the issue. It isn’t easy but the importance of it cannot be overstated.

Opening up to someone is not easy—many men and women have trouble opening up a line of communication that may bring unpleasant topics to the surface between themselves.

Creating a safe and open line of communication is important—if you need help to do this, it’s best you both agree to see a therapist or a counsellor—someone who can help you.

If you would rather do it yourself, the steps are pretty easy—You can do it by withholding judgement, listening, and focusing not only on yourself but on your partner.

Explaining, openly and honestly, how you feel is as important as not placing blame on one another. It’s a good idea to think about these things before you sit down to have a conversation—even bringing in some cue cards can help keep you on track. Knowing how you feel is the first step.

There are many reasons why your sweetheart may be acting jealous—most of them having to do with their own personal history. It’s important to remember that whatever the reason for their jealousy it most likely stems from insecurity.

And dealing with jealousy and insecurity, has to be done in a way that makes both of you comfortable. Getting to the root of the problem can be tricky. We’ve all been hurt before, and sometimes the wounds of past linger. But by working together you can solve the problem before it breaks you up.

Not-so-pleasant time

As great as your boyfriend (or girlfriend) may be there is the distinct possibility that their behavior and jealousy may be indicative of larger issues and as amazing as your relationship may seem, sometimes jealousy is a warning sign.

Behaviors such as a desire to control you—control your every movement, control who you spend time with, who can be your friends or when you can see your family, are all huge warning signs that indicate it may be time to revaluate whether this relationship is healthy or not.

But the first step is always to just sit down and talk about it. Openly and with honesty. It is one of the most difficult things you have to do but it may also be one of the best. Relationships are built on a foundation of trust and communication.

Dealing with insecurity

So you’ve sat down, talked it out and come to the conclusion that he is insecure. Insecurity can come from anywhere; from past experiences, self-image, friendships.

Insecurity is something we all have to deal with on a daily basis. Insecurities can ruin the best relationships and haunt even our best days.

And insecurity can grow like a giant blob destroying the unsuspecting town—soon it can overwhelm you. Luckily, there are ways that you can help your loved one combat his feelings of insecurity.

Doing simple things can help in larger ways. Reassure him—reassurance is something that we all need from time to time. Be honest with your significant other, compliment him, be open with him, include him in your life, and the life of your friends.

Doing simple things like writing him a quick note to remind him how much you care about him can help turn his day around and remind him that you chose him.

No trust

This is an issue that is harder to deal with. If your partner doesn’t trust you or doesn’t trust you around other people—men in particular, it might be the time to ask yourself if this relationship is right for you. Not trusting other people is one thing, but not trusting you to turn down a stranger’s advances is another thing.

There are situations where your partners lack of trust may be completely justified. Though a certain amount of trust in any relationship is a given, trust is not something that is simply given away freely. It is something you have to earn. Why doesn’t he trust you? Why doesn’t he trust other people?

Consider his concerns—listen to him, but be wary of controlling or obsessive behavior—that’s a red flag in and of itself. Is this relationship worth it?

Though it may seem sudden and harsh to have to ask such a serious question, it is something you do need to consider. Jealousy can seem flattering, but there comes a point where you have to realize you can’t have a healthy relationship if your partner doesn’t trust you.

But that being said if you decide to work through it, or the problems are more about him than you, there are things that you can both do to make it work.

Talk, trust, and intentions

First and foremost, reassuring him you want to be with him, is one way to start. Talk to him about how you can help him be more trusting, tell him he needs to trust you, and show him he can.

Keep being your wonderful self and eventually, the trust will come. Make your intentions known. Be open and honest. Focus on bringing him into your life.

In the end, no one can say whether of not a relationship will work and the best and only thing you can do is stay true to yourself and be honest. Honesty is one of the most important things you can have while learning how to deal with a jealous boyfriend.