If you feel some distance between you and your loved one, saying the three magic words won’t cut it, and nothing can bring you closer than showing your love. Here are some ways to back up your words with actions. Words are powerful, but people will only buy them if they are backed up with substance. If you say you’re a great partner, you must also be one. So what makes a great partner anyway?
Let’s look at some habits you can break that don’t help this problem, and some new ones you can make to put your words into action. After all, actions speak louder than words.
1. Bring positive energy to every day
Perhaps the most challenging thing in our relationship is to realize how much our fluctuating attitudes affect the other person. If you are negative, they are not going to feel your love, even if the negativity is not directed at them.
If you love them, you will protect the energy you bring to each day so, like a painter, you brush up against them with smiles and smudge positivity into their day. Everyone loves to be around someone that boosts the mood, it’s contagious, right?
One of the best ways to show him you love him is by being a beacon of positivity. If you make it a point to wake up every day with a smile, and choose positive words at all times, he will really enjoy your energy.
What does it mean to say I love you anyway? It kind of means I enjoy your energy right? Guard your words and avoid speaking negatively about other people. Focus on the positive traits of people and of yourself. If you really want to make someone’s life better because you love them, radiate love.
2. Be supportive and excited about his life
Showing love and putting it into action means giving a hoot what he cares about. You got to get on board with what makes him tick, why he spends his time the way he does, and show him that means something to you. Maybe he loves sports, maybe he’s a family guy, and maybe he’s a bookworm or a jack of all trades. Whatever it is that he wants to do with his life, it’s your mission to help him get there.
Believe in his dreams; help them become a reality by encouraging him, but not pressuring him. Positively reinforce his goals by putting your energy into them too. You don’t need to lose sight of your own goals, but show your support.
Maybe find a class he can take and pay for it. Maybe get him a book about something he is learning. Maybe acknowledge his hard work and book a message. Words of encouragement go a long way but actions go farther. Do things to further his goals, but don’t get in the way and try to control things. You can be the judge of ways to support him more than just saying ‘that’s a great idea, good luck.’
3. Follow through on your word
This is a big one. If you say you will do something, don’t flake out. If you love someone, you will value their time and energy. It’s important to show people you think about more than your own agenda or they really won’t feel you have the capacity to value anyone besides yourself.
Being accountable and reliable is a rare trait, and it shows a lot when you are organized and responsible. It gives him a sense of security. Part of love is trust; following through on your word builds it.
4. Plan stuff he loves
Well, here is an obvious one, but we often forget it. We get so caught up in our own lives that the partner becomes more of a convenience than someone we actively show we love every day. Don’t fall into the habit of letting days pass by without planning things for him. You don’t have to spend a fortune to put your love into action. Movies are cheap and you can surprise him with popcorn and a movie you think he would like.
5. Make I Love You tokens
Shower him with your love so he feels it. Go on, use your hands and make something. If you’re not crafty, look for ideas on Pinterest. If you’re totally intimidated, just buy something. But seriously, thoughtful and sentimental gestures like old school love letters are a nice way to put your words into action.
Surprise him in fun ways with little ‘just because’ gifts. Playlists, art, treats and tickets are all fun ideas, and you can’t go wrong with pictures (yes I know printed pictures are old fashioned but they’re cute). Personalized jewelry is long lasting and makes a nice statement of your love for him too!
6. Put your love into food
We have all heard that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and that idea holds water. You can show him how much you care by baking, chopping, searing, roasting, blending and peeling your way into his heart. I’m not guaranteeing he will love you if you make him a delicious raspberry drizzled chocolate tiramisu, but I would.
Keep in mind his preferences and remember: he will be impressed when you go out of your way to make it special. No microwave dinners and no easy mac. Use your imagination or look up ideas online if you’re stuck.
7. Look for ways to lower his stress
Often our loving actions can be pointed to helping our man just enjoy life. Maybe that means diffusing essential oils, lighting candles and playing calming music at home. It could also mean making lavender, chamomile or kava tea. Maybe it means doing something relaxing like taking a walk on the beach together. If you don’t live near a beach, a nature walk is just as relaxing!
Maybe he has a lot on his plate and if you have some spare time, you could help him out.
8. The final touch
If he’s had a rough day, chances are he’s got some stress building up somewhere in his body. The shoulders are the first area to hold tension, and you can offer to give him a massage. Maybe watch a YouTube video about Thai massage or Swedish massage, so what you do is more effective. He will probably really appreciate this.
9. Don’t act single
Here’s for calling a spade a spade. If you’re going to tell him you love him, you might as well act like it. If you are used to getting attention from guys, that will need to change. If he sees you flirting, he’s not going to feel like you love him all that much.
When you show him you are confident with who we are, he will feel like he can trust you. It’s common for people to still act single when they start dating someone, and then they wonder why their man leaves. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. If a man has your heart, you won’t be interested in other guys anyway.
Be considerate and tell anyone who might be interested in you that you are seeing someone, so your partner feels like you’re not hiding him. Make it clear to people that you’re in a relationship, so he knows you’re proud to be his girl.
10. Introduce him to your family
Nothing says I want you in my life more than bringing him into your circle of trust. It makes your love for him seem much more real when you introduce him to your family. Of course, you want to be serious about him before you introduce him to them, out of consideration for your family. They don’t need to meet every passing interest, just the good ones.
Your family doesn’t want to get attached to someone they’re never going to see again, so try to abide by the six month rule. Basically, once it’s been six months, you have a pretty good idea if things are working or not.
The other option is to ask him if he’d like to invite his family to do things with you guys. He will know you think highly of him when you’re trying to get to know his family and considering spending time with them. When you invest time in your relationship, it’s putting your love into action.
11. Work on yourself
Wait, what? Yes, that’s right. One of the best ways to show him you love him is to try to manage your own emotions and communication style. Try to bring your own life into balance by eating healthy, managing your own stress and exercising regularly.
When we look at ourselves in the mirror and try to find ways to contribute more positively to relationships, we are actively showing our love. Don’t bore him with every self-discovery you make because that is just self-indulgent. Focus on learning techniques to manage your PMS and emotional swings.
12. Plan for happily ever after
If you really love this guy, and you’re getting serious about planning a future together, you can always ask questions about his ideal place to live and what type of life he envisions. You can think long-term and budget for the future. Maybe create a savings account with your future life together in mind. Maybe start researching houses in the area you want to live in if you’re planning on buying.
If you’re not in the house-buying stage or not the buying type, you could also put some work into making sure your career is something that’s going to last longer than short term. When you get serious about your life, it shows you are ready to be a responsible spouse and maybe leave your crazy party days in the past.
13. Don’t be self-obsessed
If you tell him you love him, but only talk about your life and your problems all the time, he’s not going to feel like you really do. When we only talk about ourselves it’s more like using someone than loving someone. Make it a point to listen to him and really give feedback. Remember that his life is just as challenging as yours and he needs an ear just like you do.
Try not to complain and vent too much to him. He is not your sounding board to run to every time someone hurts your feelings. Happiness comes from within, not from him.
14. Give him some space
One of the most selfless things you can do in a relationship is giving him some space. It’s not caring to demand all of his time. He needs time to be alone and with his friends and family. Do not be the needy girl that won’t let him do anything alone. It shows you trust him when you decide to stay in and let him go out with the guys.
You don’t have to avoid him; just don’t keep the man on a leash. The surest way to get rid of a man is to smother him. If you love him, show him by giving him the freedom to be himself.
Think about showing him you love him in ways that are not just to get praise. Don’t make him something to get a compliment, and do things for him expecting something in return. Do your labors of love without expectations. Do things because you genuinely want his life to be good, you want him to keep smiling, and you care about how he feels.
Relationships, well, healthy relationships, are an amazing way to remind us how to be selfless and genuinely look after another human being. Make sure you spend more time making him happy than fretting over what he isn’t doing for you. Positive thinking builds healthy relationships and negative thinking breeds arguments and ugly ways of seeing the world. Life is what you choose to see, make it a masterpiece.
