How Men Think in Relationships: We Can Decipher Them

Men are complicated creatures. I’ve never been able to understand why people say women are complex…men are definitely more difficult to figure out then we are! Take my ex for example (any one of my ex’s since they all acted the same). One minute it felt like he adored me, and the next it felt like we weren’t even from the same planet.

That whole Venus and Mars thing is true.

It took me years to figure out what goes on in a guy’s mind when he’s in a relationship. Is he happy? Is he comfortable? Is he dumping me for the girl at the supermarket he chats with in line?

Before you freak out over your guy’s weird relationship behavior, let me tell you how men think in relationships.

1. He’s terrified

Your guy is first, and foremost, terrified of being in a serious relationship. It’s natural, really, to question your decision. He wonders if it’s the right choice, he probably feels some sort of pressure from his single friends to be more, well, “single”, and he realizes he’s given out his most vulnerable asset to you…his heart. That’s not easy for a guy.

2. You’re more important than his boys

He knows his friends can be real idiots. While they’re busy living the bachelor life and trying to pick up any woman they see (usually without success), the truth is, your guy knows how lucky he is to have you in his life. He is well aware of all the things you do for him, and because of how lucky he knows he is, your man thinks you’re more important than his friends.

He will put you first, he’ll make sure that you’re happy first, and he’ll gladly come home when you say so, no matter how much his friends taunt him about it. Your guy’s not an idiot.

3. He is dedicated to you

Have you ever met a man who had his heart broken so badly that he was never quite able to get over the woman who hurt him? I’ve known many men like that. I’ve dated a few of them (relationships that were doomed from the start). Know this, ladies: Once he gives his heart out to you, he’s yours.

He will love you, desire you, and want only you. If you ever break it off, he will compare every woman on the planet to you, and he’ll never truly be able to get over you.

4. He acts like an idiot because…

If your man acts like an idiot concerning your relationship, there are a few good reasons. First, he could be nervous that he’s falling for you and his brain just isn’t processing quite right. Love has that effect on people.

Second, he could be acting like an idiot because he’s hoping you’ll break up with him so he doesn’t have to keep spiraling down this heart wrenching thing called love (but he won’t do anything really worthy of being dumped, he mostly just gets a little annoying).

5. He isn’t sure how to open up to you

Once he stops acting like an idiot, he’ll try opening up to you. To be honest, though, he has no idea how to do that. He really doesn’t. Whenever he tries to tell you about his feelings, the words just won’t come out and he clams up. He doesn’t want to feel vulnerable, but he doesn’t want to keep his feelings hidden, either.

6. He puts you on a pedestal

You are pretty much a deity to your man. He loves and adores you above any other woman. No woman compares to you, no woman can do the things you do, no woman has your scent, your smile, your hair…nobody is you, and because of that, it is practically impossible for you to do anything wrong.

7. He got cold feet…again

After he realizes he has all these feelings for you and that you’re perfect for him, and he isn’t sure if he deserves you, he’ll get scared again. He’ll act like an idiot. He’ll clam up and not talk. In fact, he’ll have you wondering if your relationship is okay or if there’s something really wrong. There isn’t, he’s just freaking out.

8. He’s jealous

No matter what kind of a relationship you have with a guy, he will be jealous of any other man who you talk to or share a laugh with. Especially the ones you share a laugh with. Your man wants to be everything to you, and he is terribly jealous of other guys.

If you flirt with other men, if you sit next to other men, if you laugh at another man’s jokes, your guy will go nuts! It’s not just a territorial thing, it’s the fear that some other guy could make you happy.

9. He needs breathing room…but not too much

In every relationship, a man needs his breathing room. He needs to be able to go out with his friends and have a few beers and shoot pool. He needs to be able to take a break from “relationship mode” and turn on the “frat boy” mode of his brain every now and again. It’s cool, don’t worry.

The truth is, he doesn’t want to be in “frat boy” mode for too long, and he’d rather you were not exactly one hundred percent okay with him getting his breathing room. Of course, let him have it anyway, he’ll come home soon enough.

10. He loves your quirks

The one thing your man surely thinks about in your relationship is your little quirks. Whatever it is that makes you, “you”, is exactly what he fell in love with and exactly what he thinks about all the time. Your man knows that no other woman will eat the way you do, will sing the way you do, has that chipped front tooth like you do…your uniqueness is the driving force in this relationship.