When it comes to your relationship, it’s incredibly easy to let outside influences wreak havoc. There are the thoughts and judgments of friends and family, not to mention home wreckers and the ideals of society as a whole.
All of these outside influences can affect relationships in different ways.
For instance, we wait to get married or have children until its considered “normal” and worry constantly about what other people will think. Soon, your once-perfect relationship (or so it seemed) becomes weighed down by the judgment of others—and the saddest thing is, you let it get that way.
If you’re tired of letting others ruin your relationship, follow these tips.
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Keep relationship matters private.
Since you’re the one in the relationship, only you and your partner truly know the ins and outs of your problems. Because of this, it’s best to try and keep private matters just that: private.
If you’re constantly complaining and venting to your friends and family about every little fight you get into, it will start to alter your loved ones’ opinions of your beau.
Then, the next time you get into a fight with your partner, they may jump to conclusions and suggest you break up with him. This becomes their gut instinct because all they have to go off of is the bad opinion you helped to create by sharing the details of every little problem.
Listen to your heart.
No one knows your true wants and desires more than you do. If you are in love with someone and know for certain that it’s the real deal, you shouldn’t let your feelings be swept to the side just because you feel as though some people in your life won’t approve.
Just remember that everyone has an opinion and they will oftentimes differ from yours.
You may have friends who believe that your boyfriend is just another jerk simply because they’re bitter and jealous about how happy you are. Look at the situation from a 360 degree perspective to ensure that you’re taking everything in account before making any major decisions about your relationship.
Take control of your life.
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Sounds easier than done, right? Taking control of your life is so important when entering grown-up relationships. Sure, it’s important to respect and listen to the advice of those you love and trust, but you must take control of your life in a way that ensures that you’re living it in the ways that only you know will make you happiest.
Fear also plays a large role in this. Your family may think that you’re making a mistake with the person you’re dating, and it’s this fear that causes them to act out and encourage you to make what they view as “better” choices.
To curb this, open and honest communication is important—explain to them how much this person means to you, or even have them meet in-person and get to know your love.
I personally went through this when I first started dating my boyfriend. My brother didn’t think he was good enough for me and voiced these concerns, but after they met and my brother had a chance to get to know my boyfriend, he stopped being so overprotective and learned to trust my relationship and, most importantly, trust my decisions.
The last thing you want is to live your life in the way that others deem as “normal.” It’s important to trust your gut and not be afraid to take control.
Don’t feed into society’s idyllic views on relationships.
We’ve heard of not reading too much into romantic movies and their idyllic endings that show love working out no matter what and against all odds. Usually, the male lead is the likes of Ryan Gosling or Ryan Reynolds—the perfect sort of men who don’t really exist in the real world.
Therefore, we shouldn’t allow society to determine how and when we take major steps in relationships.
For example, we hold back from saying “I love you,” despite fully feeling it, and all because we’ve be taught that saying it first will scare men away.
When it comes to jealousy, we don’t have to give in to all our fears and insecurities. We can skip what we see in the movies or hear from the relationship horror stories of others—all things that make us believe there are reasons to be threatened and trust the person we’re with instead, fully and completely.
What other ways can we use to avoid letting others ruin our relationships?
