Sex is a lot about intimacy and trust—it’s not just about coming up with crazy ideas in the bedroom. Therefore, it’s important to get to know your partner and what makes them feel safe, as well as what turns them on.
Here are some ideas for dirty questions to ask your boyfriend in order to spice up your sex life.
1. What makes you feel loved?
If it’s not just someone you’re seeing for sex, a vital part of having a great sex life is having a great relationship. If they feel loved and treasured, chances are they will be a lot keener on having sex with you.
Something as simple as complimenting someone a couple of times a week and telling them when you think they’re hot can turn a relationship and your sex life around.
2. What’s the sexiest movie you’ve ever watched?
Chances are they will reply 9½ Weeks, but you know, they might have seen something else that’s erotic (and I’m not talking about pure porn here).
3. What kind of music gets you in the mood?
Some songs are just sexy. The problem is that we all think of different songs as sexy.
Music can also make us remember moments, so if you often have sex listening to Barry White, next time you walk around the mall and they’re playing Barry White, you’ll start thinking about sex. You can use this to your advantage!
4. What texts do you find to be sexy/a turn on?
People’s ideas when it comes to what constitutes sexy greatly vary, so you might as well ask!
5. Which of my outfits do you find the sexiest?
If you find out one outfit they like, you can easily buy similar ones. You can also take them lingerie shopping with you….
6. Do you like to be dominated in the bedroom, or do you prefer to dominate?
What people consider domination ranges from simply taking the initiative to full on Mr. Grey. This question opens up not just if someone likes to dominate/be dominated, but also what they consider domination.
7. What’s your favorite sexual fantasy?
Not everyone will want to reveal this, but if they do, then it can open up topics of discussion around what fantasies they want to turn into reality and which ones are better left as pure fantasy. Remember: some fantasies are never meant to be more than fantasies, so whatever your partner reveals, bear this in mind.
8. Have you ever had any good wet dreams?
Again, not sure they’ll share them with you (dreams tend to get weird sometimes), but if they do (don’t be too shocked if they include weird things they’d never actually consider doing—they’re just symbols in a dream!), it can open up discussions about what you both subconsciously think of sex.
9. What turns you on in general?
People have different turn-ons and some that we would never guess unless we ask!
10. What sex positions do you like?
Everyone has their favorites and ones they might not be particularly fond of. Good to find positions you both like, positions you’re willing to try and the ones you’d rather not do (before one of you decide to try them on in the middle of the act!).
11. What acts as turn-offs for you?
Some people really can’t handle having sex when they are stressed, others see sex as a stress reliever. You need to figure out what their turn-offs are before you attempt doing something you find really sexy and they really don’t.
12. Is there anything you want to do sexually that you’ve never tried?
Time to get adventurous?
13. Would you want to/have you experimented with sex toys?
Sex toys can be a great addition to your sex life if you both enjoy them.
14. Have you ever considered having a threesome?
Maybe they’ve already had one!
15. Where on your body do you like to be touched?
They might reply everywhere, but try to get them to be a bit more specific!
16. Are there any locations you’d love to have sex, but haven’t tried yet?
This is a great question if you’d like to try out new and exciting locations.
You need to find out what someone likes in the bedroom, and then go on adventures together from there. Gauge how comfortable they are talking about sex before you jump into any revealing questions.
You can slowly work your way up to the more revealing stuff. Remember to have fun with it—sex shouldn’t be something scary, but as you get naked with someone while showcasing your desires, it often makes people feel vulnerable on one level or another. That’s why it’s so important that you build trust within the relationship as well.
