Your past relationships have not worked out, and you are done with one night stands and hookups. Now, you have found a person who you really like and you may even think that they are the one for you.
However, as you both continue to get to know each other through discussing certain topics, and are learning more from deep conversations some topics are bound to come up which may cause some waves in the smooth waters.
You should be ready to answer these questions the right way which will make your relationship even stronger but will also allow you both to discuss freely and openly.
Talking about past relationships with your current partner in your new relationship can be either very easy or very difficult. Ultimately, before you do this it is important to look at an array of things to help you decide if it is even worth delving into your romantic past.
Before opening this can of worms read on to learn if you should be talking about past relationships with your partner, and what is the best way to talk about this as well.
Why you should talk about past relationships
If you chose to take the route of talking about past relationships you should be aware of the risks (which are discussed below). However, there are also many benefits to this.
By talking about your past relationships with your current partner you are opening up communication channels. By doing this you are creating a connection, bond, and place of honesty and possibly vulnerability.
This is all good, even though it might be scary, alarming, stressful, worrisome, or nerve wracking, it is actually good.
When you tell your partner about your past relationships it is important to be honest, open, and neutral about it. However, as much as you need to be honest, you also need to keep in mind that you should not go into every detail of every aspect of your previous relationship.
Even though your partner and you have agreed to discuss your past relationships, it doesn’t mean they want to hear about your sex life and every single thing that had happened.
What you should do is just to give a summary of the pros and cons of the relationship. Mention how it was good at times, but also then add what ruined the relationship and go into detail about that too.
There is a fine line for this, you must be honest and open, but you also must keep some stuff more reserved and tucked away for simplicity.
Additionally, another benefit to talking about past relationships is the fact that you get to discuss what you didn’t like which will hint to your new partner about things to not do.
People may view this as a bad idea because it means you are suggesting your partner should change, or hide parts of them. However, it really isn’t bad because you are just mentioning what went wrong in the past, how it made you feel, and what happened as a result of it.
Your partner won’t change because of this, it just means they will have some guidelines of things that drive you nuts and have ruined previous relationships.
This will be a guide for them as it will aid the both of you in your new relationship and it will hopefully have a better end result than the past.
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Why you should not talk about past relationships
Despite talking about past relationships can be benefitial, there are some issues with it which can be quite bad.
Before even talking about this with your partner, consider their personality. If they are very sensitive, judgmental, critical, possessive, or jealous, then you may want to consider not telling them.
After all, if they have these traits, your relationship may fall apart before it even really starts.
If your partner has any of those traits, he can become jealous, insecure, angry, sad, or just criticize because of what you have told them.
Additionally, they may be bothered by the fact that you have been with others, and that you have done certain things with other people.
No matter of it being sex, working out together, hiking, mini golf, travel, concerts, or anything, they will have a wave of emotions about it and it will bother them.
This can be troublesome, so it is up to you to decide if talking about past relationships is an actually right thing for your relationship.
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