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This moment usually occurs when you’re right in the middle of a heated moment and you’re contemplating whether or not you can see yourself waking up to this person the next morning. Maybe you’ve never done it.

Perhaps you’ve done it more times than you’re proud to admit. Whatever the case may be, have a look at the following pros and cons when you’re out on a perfect first date with the person of your dreams and then evaluate if you’re still making the right decision.

Remember, sleeping with someone on the first date can either be good ol’ sexiness between the sheets or simply getting some beauty sleep without having to do it alone. Both of which can be experienced on some level within the following list. So choose wisely.

Pros:

• You can evaluate the level of chemistry

You either have chemistry or you don’t. It’s not something you can magically grow from one date. However, sleeping with someone on the first date is a potentially great option for discovering just how much chemistry you have.

I’m by no means saying lust is a positive element to have in any relationship. Lust is merely an extreme love of someone else’s body, but chemistry has everything to do with the chemicals in your brain matching the chemicals of your date’s brain.

Technically it sounds quite complicated, but you’re soon to find out just how much your brain chemicals match by hitting the sack.

• We all have needs, but can they fulfill yours?

It’s one thing knowing how to have sex with someone, it’s a whole different story knowing how to please the person you’re choosing to have sex with.

Sure, learning how someone else’s body works takes time and practice. It’s not always something that happens overnight, however, you can tell a lot about a person by how they’re willing to make you happy – if at all.

So why waste time if you can discover that important piece of information on the first date already.

• We’re adults, capable of making adult decisions

The fact is, if you’re an adult, you’re able to make adult decisions – most of the time anyway. So the fact remains, if you want to sleep with someone on the first date, and it’s something that you desperately want to do after spending a few hours having great conversations and most likely partaking in tons of flirting, then you’re very capable and allowed to make the decision of sleeping with someone on the first date. It’s as simple as that.

It’s absolutely normal, so don’t panic. The good news is you can absolutely bring the life back into your relationship by exploring different sex positions to spice up your marriage.

All you need is two willing individuals who want to have fun and enjoy exploring each other as if it’s the first time. Yes, things may have changed.

Your body may not look the same, things have probably shifted in opposite directions, and you most likely acquired a few extra wrinkles and sun spots with the years.

However, your needs are still there. So don’t dismiss a decline of sexual intimacy as a normal part of any marriage. It doesn’t have to be.

You can spice up your marriage with different sex positions designed to keep both parties entertained and interested after years of being with one person. Try them. They’re fun!

1) The love seat

The name typically refers to you and your partner making use of your very comfy couch. More specifically, the armrest. By leaning over the armrest, making yourself comfortable, your partner can then easily penetrate you from behind, or from the front – depending on how flexible you are.

The soft cushioning will protect whatever needs protection while you get busy spicing up your marriage.

2) The washer

No one said your washing machine should only be used for clothes washing purposes, right? So make use of this device by having your partner sit on the washing machine while you sit on top of him with the spin cycle on.

You’ll experience a whole other meaning to ‘doing the laundry’. Washing clothes has never been this fun and inviting.

3) The stair master

I would suggest only trying this particular sex position to spice up your marriage if you have some cushioning on the stairs. Preferably a carpet. Although, you could get rug burns.

Either way, with your partner sitting on one of the steps and you sitting on his lap facing away from him, you can easily hold onto the railing and maneuver your way around, or up and down. Point is, just have fun!

4) The pretzel

The name suggests it all! Have your partner straddle your left leg between his legs while you’re lying on your left side. Your right leg will be bent at his waist, giving your partner easy access to all of your pleasure spots.

You can be in full control of how slow or fast you want him to go, as far as trying different sex positions to spice up your marriage, this is a winner.

5) The chef master

Who doesn’t enjoy the old sturdy kitchen counter to do everyday things like chopping vegetables, preparing meals, and spicing up your marriage? It’s at a perfect height for your partner to easily slip in and enjoy all you have going on in the kitchen.

So get up onto that kitchen counter, wrap your legs around his waist, make sure you have something warm placed under your bum and have fun. Show him who’s master of the kitchen, or mistress in this case.

6) The Hoover Maneuver

This one may be a little bit more advanced, so be sure to have strong upper body muscles, especially in your arms as you’ll be close to doing a handstand while your partner holds onto your legs.

The first thing to do if you want to heat things up is to get curious. Lovemaking is an art. Seduction is an art. Go online or to your local bookstore and start researching what books are the best to read for some inspiration.

Watch some burlesque to learn from the masters of tease. Find inspiration reading about courtesans and harems. Get your girlfriends together and talk about experiences in the bedroom—the good, the bad and the ugly. The more you know about sex, the more confident you will feel about it—and confidence is sexy.

By being curious, chances are you’ll also drop some of your inhibitions. If you are with a man you love, sex is nothing more than a way of showing affection in an exciting and pleasurable manner. And, if you choose to have sex simply for pleasure—so long as you don’t let the pleasure lead you astray—there’s nothing more human.

Sex is good for your mental and your physical health. The important thing is to see it from a good view and know the difference between love and lust, as well as when you are using lust to numb pain.

2. Get a Handle

A good hand job is always appreciated. There are as many techniques as there are men, but there are some classics as well as general advice easily accessible online. Google it.

Also, talk to your man. Ask him how he likes it. Without knowing what he wants, how can you do a good job? Whilst it’s great to surprise him with new techniques, you also need his feedback. That goes for anything in the bedroom; combine surprises with chats about what you both like.

3. Going Down

It’s been said that for a good Valentine’s Day, you need to serve your man a steak and a blowjob the day before. Of course, this is a good old joke, but it has some truth in it: most men love blowjobs; a lot of them like steak too or at least a great meal—just like you would likely not mind him serving you a great meal and then treating you to a sensual experience!

As with hand jobs, you will find a plethora of tips, tricks and techniques online for blowjobs. Google it. If you feel insecure, practice on a cucumber when you know nobody’s watching – especially not the neighbors. I’ve even seen classes on blowjobs in London where the women had to practice on cucumbers!

4. Let Him Lust for it

Next time you are just about to step out of the car and head into some function, give him a really hot kiss and feel him up a bit—then leave him lusting for more. You can do this at any time you know that there is no way you’ll have sex straight after.

To make him lust for it, you can also send him a text when he’s at work, or any time when you are apart, telling him that you just can’t wait to rip his clothes off… or do whatever it is you are thinking about doing.

When you are in the same room—a room filled with people—tell him that you are suddenly feeling really turned on by him. Ask him if he wants to know exactly what you are thinking. If he says yes, send him little texts throughout the event with more details.

Again, make sure this is somewhere where you really can’t have sex like your mother’s birthday party, lunch with friends in a restaurant, or a job function of his. Also, make sure it’s a place where he doesn’t mind a bit of distraction. If he’s meeting his new boss for the first time, this is not the time to send him dirty texts!

5. Go on a Sexcation

Get in the car and drive off somewhere for the weekend with the full intention of exploring your sex life. Pack your sexiest underwear.

Whisper to each other for a few weeks about what sex fantasies you want to live out. If there are no sex fantasies to live out, simply whisper about having sex.

You might also have fantasies that you don’t want to live out. Most men fantasize about other women without having any intention of having sex with them. It’s just in their biological make up. Don’t deny your guy a good fantasy; indulge him in it.

6. Deepen Intimacy

Sex, ultimately, is about the merging of two people—the deeper that merge goes, the more incredible the experience.

There are practices, such as tantra, that are all about deepening the connection—mental as well as physical. Try it out. Read a few different books about the sacred art of tantra, and explore new practitioners of tantra-related practices like Shakti Milan, David Deida and Nicole Daedon (who invented Orgasmic Meditation).

Further increase intimacy by truly being present in the moment with your lover. Dare for him to see all of you. Let him look into your soul.

You can also try things like renting a cabin for a weekend, and spending the entire weekend in silence together. See how you can communicate without words.

7. Make Him Feel Like a Sexy Beast

Nagging has never led to a happy relationship. Praise, however, has. When your man does something you like, tell him so—both in the bedroom and in everyday life.

Compliment him on his muscles. Tell him you love his intellectual side or adore his laughter. Make him feel treasured. The more confident you make him feel, the more confident he will be with you in bed. The more of a stud he feels like, the more he will want to have sex with you because you make him feel so good!

These are dessert ideas and recipes that will give you a higher chance of ending up in bed after the date night you have. Of course, you are beautiful and sexy enough that I’m sure any man would want you, but here are some dessert ideas you can make for a dinner date.

These are perfect for Valentine’s Day especially- and are a delicious way to end a meal, regardless of sex.

Aphrodisiac: A quick explanation

One may ask, how can a simple dessert make someone want to then have sex with you more so than they possibly would have before? The answer to that is, the foods that are going to be included in this article are proven to be natural aphrodisiacs.

An aphrodisiac is something that will increase libido when consumed. Aphrodisiacs can also help out with erectile dysfunction and fertility problems. There are quite a lot of foods that are linked to being aphrodisiacs.

Of course, this article is about desserts, but if you want to start off your date night as well with some savory aphrodisiacs, make your date some oysters, asparagus, and arugula. One extra plus is that these foods are very healthy.

Below you will read a list of dessert ideas and foods that are considered to be natural aphrodisiacs that should help increase the libido of your date.

1. Red wine

Yes, this is not something that you are going to make by yourself, but it is always a good idea to get a bottle of red wine for date night. It is classy, and even besides red wine having natural effects on increasing libido, the fact that both you and your date are going to be a bit tipsy make increase your chances of having sex.

If you are going to have a romantic, candlelit dinner, getting a bottle (or two!) of red wine is a must. If you do not drink alcohol, I have another drink suggestion for you that may increase libido coming up next.

2. Pomegranate spritzer

Pomegranates are absolutely delicious eaten by themselves, that can be something that you and your date can enjoy alone for dessert, but a simple yet delicious drink you can make for you and your date if you are going non-alcoholic is a pomegranate spritzer.

This includes pomegranate juice, a splash of seltzer water, and a squeeze of lemon juice. It is refreshing, healthy, and should aid in helping get you and your date in the mood.

3. Chocolate covered strawberries and cherries

Chocolate covered strawberries are absolutely delicious. Every single Valentine’s Day, even if I did not have a date, I would eat chocolate covered strawberries. They can also be beautiful, and a perfect dessert to have after a dinner, especially because they are not too heavy in the stomach.

The same goes for cherries, like strawberries, cherries are also natural aphrodisiacs. Chocolate covered cherries are also delicious. I’m starting to realize that maybe people eat chocolate covered fruit on Valentine’s Day to maybe increase their chances of having sex?

The kind of chocolate that will increase yours and your date’s libido the most is dark chocolate- and it is also the healthiest. With cherries, it is delicious, because the flavors pair so well.

So, either make some of your own chocolate covered fruit (literally just melted chocolate and fruit- so easy) or buy some, and hopefully, your date will end in bed.

4. Dark chocolate (healthy!) mousse

This is another dessert idea branching off of the dark chocolate idea that I mentioned previously. It is a much healthier version of dark chocolate mousse that is loaded with cream and lots of sugar, and it also just happens to be free of animal products.

You may cringe when you hear what it is made of and think I am crazy, but I promise, this tastes amazing. It is made with silken tofu.

In a blender add in a package of drained silken tofu (make sure it is very dry, no liquid still within the tofu), a cup of melted (and cooled) dark chocolate, ¾ cups of almond milk, and a tablespoon of vanilla extract. If you need it to be a little bit sweeter, add a tablespoon of maple syrup.

Blend it all together and let it chill and come together in the fridge- and I promise you a delicious dessert that is a natural aphrodisiac and it will also aid in increasing libido. Plus, it is much healthier and lighter than the original version but just as tasty!

5. Olive oil cake

Olive oil is a natural aphrodisiac. Of course, you can use olive oil in the dinner that you will make for you and your date, but how about in the dessert you make?

Olive oil cake is absolutely delicious and decadent and is something a bit different that you and your date may enjoy. There is a recipe that I found that is extremely easy that you can whip up the day of the date.

First, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. For this you will need the zest of one or two citrus fruits- I recommend either lemons or oranges, they pair extremely well with olive oil.

You will also need:

• 1/3 cup of the juice of the citrus fruit
• four eggs, 1 cup of granulated white sugar
• ½ cup of extra virgin olive oil
• 1 cup of all-purpose flour (you can use gluten-free flour for this as well if you are gluten sensitive)
• ½ teaspoon of baking powder
• ¼ teaspoon of salt

Whisk together the eggs and sugar so they get light and fluffy, and then while whisking add in the olive oil and then the citrus fruit juice. Then, add in the rest of the ingredients. Grease some kind of pan (this cake looks especially nice in a bundt pan if you have) and bake for around 45 to 50 minutes.

If you by some chance have fresh figs at your house, chop them up and add them into the batter. Or, just serve them along with the olive oil cake. Fresh figs are also a natural aphrodisiac, and they go incredibly well with olive oil cake. Surprise your date with this simple yet delicious dessert that will get you both in the mood.

Men aren’t the hard-to-understand creatures we always make them out to be. We need to look in all the right places and even communicate to find out what they really want from us.

When it comes to whipping up a man’s favorite fantasy, you need to read between the lines and figure out what he likes in bed.

Although no two men have the exact same fantasy, these are the top ten fantasies that get a man’s motor running.

1. Letting their partner take charge

That’s right, ladies. Men love a woman who knows what she wants in the bedroom.

When she does, the man can’t help but enjoy following her direction. Contrary to popular belief, men do love it when we are getting what we want. It turns them from purring kittens into sexual tigers.

Men also love to give us what we want. Now’s not the time to be shy. Let go of your inhibitions and allow yourself to let loose and take charge.

What’s even better is when it’s spontaneous.

2. Role playing

To a lot of men, nothing is hotter than getting into character (and sometimes costume) and playing out an erotic scenario.

Perhaps your man has come up with a scenario where he’s a police officer and you’re the criminal he needs to interrogate? Or maybe he wants to be a doctor and you’re his patient?

Pretending to be someone else adds that extra excitement in the bedroom, as well as the spontaneity, needed to keep the flames of desire stoked.

The both of you could be anyone you wanted, and you can incorporate anything you want into the scenario.

The best part is that there are so many scenarios that you can be a new person every night.

With all the costumes and sex toys out there to go with them, you can come up with new and exciting encounters that will leave you both hot and bothered.

3. Fetishes

This is one of the harder ones to accommodate since you will have to tune into your man’s cues and really find out what he likes.

As mentioned before, no two men have the same sexual desires so it’s important that you look into what your man’s fetishes are.

Also, fetishes can incorporate many things. Some men have a foot fetish. Others love to incorporate food into sex. Other fetishes can be leather, or bondage, or even lingerie.

The most important part of fetishes, though, is to be 110% prepared to accommodate them.

If you don’t want your feet touched, or you don’t want to be tied up, you will need, to be honest, and let him know that it won’t happen.

Otherwise, you will have to walk the walk if you’re going to talk the talk.

4. Submission

There are a number of men out there who love it when a woman takes control. It can go to both extremes, from light control to full on Dominatrix. It all depends on what your guy is comfortable with.

If you haven’t done this sort of thing before, you should do a little bit of research first.

There are plenty of online resources where you can learn from and find ideas to incorporate into the bedroom.

At first, start with little things…like putting a blindfold on him or tying him to the bed.

If you feel he wants more, then it’s okay to take it further. Just remember to stay within his limits.

If he is more into pain and humiliation, you must make sure you can handle being in the position of the punisher.

If not, then you and your man need to set some ground rules and maybe come up with a couple of safe words.

5. Domination

There are also men out there who enjoy becoming a full-on Christian Grey. While they may not have a ‘Red Room of Pain’ like Mr. Grey possesses, they still enjoy taking control of their partner in the bedroom.

This can range from small things like blindfolding you to larger things like putting you in a yoke or another device so that you’re submissive and ready for him.

In these scenarios, there are many things you will have to endure, and it sometimes involves humiliation.

It will involve a little pain (from spanking) or even a lot (from whips and canes).

He may use vulgar words towards you and use punishment if you don’t comply with his commands.

If you feel that you cannot handle being dominated by your man, you have every right to let him know you don’t feel comfortable.

This scenario requires a lot of inner strength and an ability to endure punishment.

You don’t need to be Supergirl to handle being dominated, but you do need to be able to take what he gives you.

6. Threesomes

One of the most common fantasies that men have is having a threesome with two ladies.

While it’s not really an ideal situation for us, it can turn out to be a lot of fun, especially if you’re bi-curious.

There’s something about pleasuring two women at the same time that gets a man’s temperature to rise.

It adds to his sexual prowess and makes him feel like a sex god. Believe it or not, men define themselves on their carnal exploits.

Go with him to a swinger’s club or put up a couple’s profile on Adult Friend Finder’s website to find a lady to join you. This is where the both of you can be picky about who you choose.

Above all, both of you are in this together. My recommendation is to choose a stranger for your third. When friends get involved, things get complicated and messy.

Many people, specifically women have admitted not telling their partner about their sexual fantasies because they did not want to be viewed differently, be rejected, or made fun of. This same issue affects men, but it would seem that women felt this more strongly than men do.

However, in a relationship, especially with the person you love, you should be completely honest, open, at ease, and trusting of them. You should feel secure, safe, and like you won’t be judged or shamed.

So don’t continue to repress your sexual fantasies. Instead, tell your partner about your sexual fantasies, and give them a shot as long as you are both willing to do so.

Or, if you are reading this in hopes of wowing your girlfriend, then we have you covered with the wide range of sexual fantasies for women that are covered below.

Read on to find out the most common female fantasies!

1) Sensory deprivation

A common sexual fantasy for women is the desire to be deprived of their ability to see, touch, or even just not being allowed to do something.

Common desires that come with this sexual fantasy would be wanting to be blindfolded, so that you can’t see. Another is being tied down so you can’t touch.

Lastly, a big one that comes with this sexual fantasy is that women want to be told not to do something until they are given permission.

2) Anal

Plenty of women share the common sexual fantasy of wanting their partner to do anal sex with them.

Anal sex gets a bad reputation from the media which tends to make women not want to admit to having this desire.

However, that should not stop you from exploring and trying new sexual acts which may deliver lots of pleasure for you and your partner.

3) Ravishment

Women want to have sex that is very rough, aggressive and heated. This common sexual fantasy is one that women possibly crave the most. They dream of their partner coming home, and just pushing them up against a wall, kissing them so passionately and aggressively, and to continue with this level of passion and aggression all the way through their sex session.

4) Knight in shining armor

In this sexual fantasy, the woman wants to be the damsel in distress, the hostage, the victim, or the person in need of help. She wants her partner to come and save her, and to then make love to her while promising to never leave her and to always love and care for her.

5) The master and the slave

Contrary to the previous sexual fantasy women have, this one involves them wanting to be punished, held captive, and used. As much as they want to be saved, they also want to have no control, freedom, and to have to do whatever they are told to do.

6) Sex tape

Another sexual fantasy for women would be the desire to go all out and be wild in a sex tape with their partner. They want to get off on the thrill of knowing what they are doing is risky, and can possibly be seen by others even though it hopefully won’t be.

This sexual fantasy will make you and your partner feel more adventurous as you will want to perform in the best way you both can. As well, you both will want to show off your sexual skills for when the two of you watch it later on down the road. Meaning, you’ll enjoy the feeling and pleasure now, and you’ll love watching it with your partner later too.

7) Threesomes

Women share this sexual fantasy with men. They want to watch their partner with another woman (or man) engaging in intercourse or sexual act. Then they will either get pleasure from just watching, or they will jump into the mix when things are becoming more heated.

8) New locations

A sexual fantasy for women would also be the desire to want to have sex in new locations. Whether it’s in an elevator, parking lot, car, public bathroom, a park, pool, library, doctor’s office, at either one of your workplaces, or on a beach.

All that matters for this sexual fantasy is the fact that the two of you will be pleasuring each other or having sex in a new place. Meaning you will also both run the risk of getting caught, which is a thrilling feeling that adds on to the experience.

9) She’s the plate

As odd as this sexual fantasy may sound, women tend to want to have food (such as whipped cream, caramel, chocolate sauce, ice cream, candy, or some other foods) drizzled and placed on them in various places. What happens next is their partner only uses their tongue and teeth to eat the food off of their body.

10) BDSM and domination

Another sexual fantasy women have is to be dominated by their partner. They want to be told what to do and how to do it, while being restrained and having objects used on them by their partner.

Some women want light BDSM, while others want more intense forms of this, either way, they want to experiment and feel no control, something new and thrilling, and to also be submissive.

However, sometimes women also tend to want to be the one dominating. They want to tell their partner to what to do, while they do all the work.

11) Masturbation

A sexual fantasy that women would almost never want to talk about, even with their partner, is the desire to masturbate while their partner does the exact same.

There is something about this that makes women feel like this would bring them closer to their partner, while also being an ultimate tease as they wouldn’t let their partner finish the job – they would just make them watch.

12) Stranger

It would seem that plenty of women share the sexual fantasy of wanting to have sex with a stranger. As much as this may seem like a hookup or a one-night stand, it is a little different.

For this type of sexual fantasy, the woman wants to be out somewhere, see a person who they are intensely attracted to, exchange the look, and to then walk out of wherever they are.

They then would want the person to follow them out to then have hot, heated, and passionate sex with no words really exchanged and definitely with no strings attached.

A lot of other sexual fantasies for women range from wanting to go to a strip club with their partner, joining an orgy, going to a sex party, having candle wax dripped all over them, using sex toys, or being whipped or slapped.

Some other sexual fantasies for women would involve role playing where there are a doctor and a patient, teacher, and a student, a boss, and employee, or her dream character from one of her romance novels.

No matter what the role-playing fantasy is, they are easy to do once you go and buy the right attire. As well the roles you would both play may vary from time to time, but it will always be a fun and exciting idea to try out.

Of course, every woman is different and may, or may not have any of these as their sexual fantasies. However, whatever your sexual fantasies are, you should embrace them and try them with your partner!

Don’t be afraid Queens, it’s okay to need help with this as it can be quite tricky. However, once you read our guide on how to become an erotic texter, you will be a true pro at this and will be ready to send your man a text that will make him sweat.

Read on to learn how to become an erotic texter!

What will this do for you?

By sending your man sexy texts, you will be able to spice up your love life by painting a vivid picture in his head that will make him want you in ways he never has before. Due to erotic and sexy texts having a fresh, thrilling, young, enticing, exciting, and risky feeling to it, it will not only add to your love life, but it will also make it become so much more passionate and exciting.

Becoming an erotic texter will recreate the intimacy you both once had together, and it will create a heated, sexy, passion that will ignite your love life in a new and better way.

Erotic texting ideas for beginners

There is a fine line to not cross at the beginning of a relationship. As much as being an erotic texter may sound like it can make the beginning of a new relationship even better. It can actually quickly break it.

Since it is the beginning of the relationship, go slow and easy with the erotic and sexy texts. It is important to not over do it with these texts as you may look desperate, too easy, or sex obsessed. On top of that, the man you are newly dating may start to feel uncomfortable or even unsure of the relationship.

The good thing is, a new relationship already has a sexy lure that comes with it due to everything being fresh, new, and exciting. You’ll find that there will already be lots of sexual tension, but if you want to play on that and add to it slightly, there are some erotic and sexy texts you can do.

You can always text him saying

• I loved seeing you in ____ (a piece of clothing he wore the other day. For this you can easily say, that shirt, those jeans, or in your boxers/briefs).
• Would you prefer if I wore a short, tight skirt tonight, or skinny jeans?
• Last night I had the craziest dream, and you were in it 😉
• Can’t stop thinking about you 😉
• Can’t wait to see you tonight. If you play your cards right, I have a few surprises for you.

Just remember to be subtle with a sexy edge to these texts because it is a new relationship.

Erotic text ideas for long term relationships

If you want to add some much-needed heat to your relationship, then becoming an erotic texter is a very good way to do so. Typically, in most relationships that are long term, the sex and loving feelings are not as hot and frequent as they used to be. This is normal, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Just because your sex life isn’t as exciting, heated, and awesome as it used to be, it doesn’t mean you can’t revive it and make it as thrilling and wild as it used to be.

You can easily spice up your sex life by sending your man these sexy texts

• I have a surprise for you tonight, join me in ____ (any sexy location for the two of you to get in on in. This can be the bathtub, shower, on the pool table, or in bed) as soon as you get home.
• I don’t like being stuck at work/school. I’d rather be ____ (favorite sexual thing you do to him)
• If I could only wear three pieces of clothes tonight, what would you want those to be?
• Just laid in bed for the past 30 minutes thinking of what I want to do to you tonight 😉
• I want to try _____ (a really exciting and fun looking sexual position that you would both love) tonight.
• I’m really turned on, I want you to ____ (whatever sexual act you want him to do to you) to me, and I want to (a sexual act you want to do to him) to you tonight.
• Would you rather do (a sex potion) tonight, or try doing (another sex potion) tonight?
• I miss your hands being all over me.
• I miss what you do to me with your amazing mouth, including your teeth and tongue.
• I’m going to make you scream my name tonight!

Since the two of you have been together for a long time, go ahead and send him a very erotic and sexy text. Give him something that will make him hard, and excited to rush home to see you.

Give him a play by play

The suggestions for erotic and sexy texts mentioned above are great to give your man just a taste. Those texts are one liners that will give him an erection, and allow his imagination to run wild. They will also make him long for you.

However, another type of erotic texting is to give him a play by play. For this type of erotic text, you would tell him everything you plan on doing to him, step by step. You can also give him a play by play of everything you want him to do to you as well. If you were to send your man this type of erotic text, he would not only have a raging erection, but he would also be dying to get home and pleasure you in ways he never has before.

A great example of a play by play that you could send to your man would be this:

Tonight when you come home I’m going to kiss you passionately as I push you against the door. After a few moments of this, I’m going to grab your tie and make you follow me as I take you to the bedroom. As you sit on the bed I will untie your tie, unbutton your shirt and push you on the bed so you are lying down. As I do this I’ll be kissing you and trailing kisses along your jaw, down to your neck, chest, stomach, and I will be leaving marks all over you. Once I hit your belt I’m going to undue it, pull your pants and briefs down and I am going to pull your amazing **** out and start with one long lick. Then. I’m going to start sucking and bobbing my head slowly, then I’ll speed up, and make you *** in my mouth.

Of course, you will have to change this up, and personalize it to whatever you and your man love doing. However, the point is, if you tell your man everything you are going to do to him in the form of an erotic text, he will be ready to go right then and there when he reads it.

Mistakes you should not make

You may be very eager to send your man plenty of erotic texts. However, make sure you send them occasionally and in moderation. You do not want these to lose their touch due to them becoming expected and regular. If it becomes that, then it will not spice up your sex life.

Timing is everything. If you send these to your man when he is stressed with an oncoming deadline, or with family issues. It will not work and will actually cause some issues. You have to make sure that each erotic text is not only tailor made to suit you and your partner but is also being sent at the right time.

Lastly, when you send him an erotic text, you must deliver. If you just send it but don’t actually do what you said you were going to do, then these text messages will mean nothing to him and will make your sex life horrible.

Anything exciting and new usually makes us feel a bit nervous. So let’s have a look at some ideas about how to find a boyfriend in college so that you could feel a little bit more empowered!

Join a club

The best place to find a guy you’ll have something in common with? A club where people have the same interests you do. Whilst you might have interests that mainly attract girls, like, say ballet classes tend to have more women than men attend them if you have a little spare time you can join clubs that aren’t your main interests but are still focused on things you like.

Even if you aren’t making movies in your spare time, but you can still join the movie club if you enjoy watching and talking about movies.

Joining clubs also means you have the opportunity to meet with women whom you can become friends with. Not only will friendships help make your experience at college all that much better, it will also mean you have girlfriends with whom you can attend parties, go to bars with, etc. It’s nice to have a wing woman when looking for a boyfriend!

Study outside your dorm

If you’re wondering how to find a boyfriend in college, a good place to start is to simply look around. Get out of your dorm – take your books and study in the library, in the park, or at the coffee shop. Not only do cute guys study all over college, they also have jobs there. It might turn out that your barista is hotter than any guy you’ve ever met.

Maybe it’s not always conducive to do “heavy” studying out amongst people if you’re easily distracted, but you can do things like reading course material or more simple homework tasks.

If you want to encourage guys to walk up to you, be sure to smile at them when your eyes meet, avoid wearing headphones and sit by yourself, as opposed to surrounded by five girlfriends. Men don’t usually approach women if they’re in a group as they feel intimidated.

If you are in a group and want someone to approach you, establish eye contact and smile a few times and then go somewhere where you’re alone for a few minutes. Like pick up a coffee, or check out a book on the bookshelf. That will give him an opportunity to approach you.

Get a job

As mentioned, lots of guys attending college work on campus, so there’s a plenty of opportunity of meeting one if you get a job on campus too. At work, it’s often easier to connect with someone than when walking them by on campus. And as it’s not a job you need to keep for the next twenty years, it isn’t so bad if you date someone there.

Just be sure it’s not the job you need to get through college because then mixing work with pleasure is probably not a good idea. If you do, take it very, very slow. We’re all attracted to a lot of people, but only a few turn out to be someone we actually want to be in a relationship with.

Find out how they treat you before falling in love and getting serious with them if you want to mix work with pleasure.

In class

Wondering about how to find a boyfriend in college is sometimes actually about “how to be found.” If you want boys to notice you, be sure to smile and talk in class. Even if you aren’t the most outgoing person, practice speaking in the class by answering the professors’ questions.

Wearing nice clothes and caring for your looks also help if you want to be noticed. It’s said the difference between a friendship and a relationship is sex, so men have to be attracted to you to want to date you.

Some people think clothing, hairstyles, etc. are superficial and sure, it’s not what’s gonna make a relationship last, but showing your personality through your appearance helps. Wearing jeans and a hoodie ever so often is fine, but doing it every day gets boring. And being shy and hiding behind clothes that make you disappear really isn’t going to do you a favor.

Whilst it might take a while to get comfortable to wear clothes that show you off, be sure to wear something that is truly you. Something that you’re comfortable with personality-wise. Because your personality is what guys are looking for.

Claim your space. Show your beauty. Show your humor. Show who you are.

Make friends

The more friends you make, the more parties, outings and events you’ll be invited too, which means there’s a greater chance of meeting single guys. Besides, friends like introducing single friends to each other. And chances are, if they’re a good friend, they’ll introduce you to good people.

Join meet-up groups

The answer to how to find a boyfriend in college is sometimes hidden away from campus. Meet-up groups in cities are excellent places for meeting new friends and singles. It’s kind of like college clubs, only they’re open for anyone.

Most people who move cities use them, as do natives as it’s a network connecting people with similar interests. There are meet-up groups for anything and everything from entrepreneurs to gourmet cooks and anything and everything in-between.

Pick-up skills

I know, I know it’s douchebags trying to get girls who use pick-up skills…right?! Actually, pick-up skills are based on the psychology of socializing. There are guys who use it in the wrong way to manipulate people, but here’s the deal: some people are naturally good with people and flirting because they grew up in an environment where they learned.

Other people aren’t great at people skills because they didn’t randomly end up in situations where they learned, which means they accidentally alienate people all the time simply because they don’t know how to establish a connection.

It’s not manipulative to be good with people. It’s like saying please and thank you and smiling – it helps you connect with people. So read The Game by Neil Strauss and read a couple of self-help books about how to get better at approaching people.

It won’t just help you with flirting, it will help you with getting jobs, managing people, leading projects, etc. Not just that, it will help you determine what people’s true feelings are as well.

We’ve all had a person whom we thought was “The One,” the person we were just meant to be with. Of course, we were usually only in middle school or high school by the time we met the person. We made our entire lives all about that person. Building up the courage to even just talk to that person, and freaking out when that person, somewhat, gave us the time of day.

How old were you when you looked back and wondered what you ever saw in that person in the first place? The same person you once spent all your time obsessing over is now the person you look at and cannot fathom what it was you liked in the first place. So much of your time was wasted on that person. There are so many other things to do besides try to find someone, just for the circle to happen all over again.

What happens if we decide to live life like we will never find the one? Or living like it doesn’t matter what happens if we meet that person or not? To be honest with you, probably some pretty great things. Let’s look at some of the things that could happen.

1) You could learn a lot about yourself

photo via pinterest.com

When you don’t focus your entire life on finding someone else to try to fill it, you learn so much about yourself. Instead of focusing on what you can do to make other people happy, you should try to find things that make you happy.

You never really realize how much you don’t know about yourself until you have all the time in the world to figure it out. Not focusing on finding love opens up your mind to more things than just that.

2) You become more realistic

We are so focused on finding love that we see in the movies we watch or the books that we read. What we need to realize is that that love story was made up by someone, based on their fantasies, which become ours as well. That is what they are. They give us expectations about how relationships should be, when most times real relationships are nothing like it.

That does not go to say that relationships can’t be great and healthy, but you can’t expect your relationships to be exactly how they are in that one movie you’ve watched so many times that you can recite it word for word.

When you live like you’re not going to find anyone, you learn that your life doesn’t have to revolve around falling in love. You learn that there is more to life than just the chase. It gives you time to calm down a bit and see that you don’t need to revise yourself to fit the standards of other people. You get the chance to be truly yourself.

3) You’ll stop caring about useless things

photo via pexels.com

We are obsessed with trying to do things to make people like us. We tend to not act like ourselves in the hopes that people will want to be with us based on what we can pretend to be instead of the people we actually are. I continually bring up being ourselves because learning how to be yourself unapologetically is the key to true happiness. Caring about changing yourself needs to be left in high school. We’re told for it now.

If you have to pretend to be someone else to make someone like you, then that person isn’t the person you should even want to be around.
You’ll learn to see just how ridiculous it is to care about everything you say and do to people. It lifts a weight off of your shoulders physically and mentally because you’re not constantly stressing yourself out.

4) You become more adventurous

This, I swear, will free up a lot of your time. By learning more about yourself, you’re bound to find more things that interest you as well. You begin to look for things to use up your time, and even start to be more willing to things you were once too afraid to do. There’s something very cool that happens when you let stress go. It makes you into a different person, one whom you will like a lot better. You’re going to be yourself, but just a better version.

Shifting your focus from relationships onto anything else means that you’re going to want something new and exciting. We have to face the fact that we all love the chase, whether it be with hook ups or relationships. There’s something exciting about figuring out if someone is interested in you or not. It draws us in, constantly. Since you’re no longer focusing on chasing people, chase adventures instead. You have so many opportunities to do something you never thought you’d be able to do.

5) You’ll be ready when the right person comes around

photo via pexels.com

The best things come to those who wait. We’ve all heard the phrase, and probably all equally dislike it. It’s true. When you don’t actively look for something, it tends to drop right in the palm of your hands, and it also tends to be exactly what you didn’t know you needed.

Most times, we get into relationships that we aren’t ready for. Or relationships that we shouldn’t be in. The best people are ones who we don’t expect to come into our lives. Most times they’re not even the people we thought we’d end up with in the first place.

Living like you will never find love doesn’t mean that you will never find it. It just means that you live your life to try to excel in every aspect, not just in love and relationships.

Afternoon Tea in a Rowing Boat

Did you ever watch Bridget Jones’s Diary? Well, there is this scene where Hugh Grant is rowing around in a boat on a small lake with Renée Zellweger while citing a poem. It’s an excellent way to celebrate an anniversary, don’t you think? Especially if you bring champagne. Of course, in the movie Hugh Grant ends up completely soaked; you might want to avoid that bit. The bit about the poetry, however, you might want to keep. Also, pack some afternoon tea – scones, jam, cream, tea, and the afore-mentioned champagne. Share the tea while reading out loud from romantic poetry collections or a Jane Austen book. Your very own Mr. Darcy should, after all, be sitting next to you.

If it’s too uncomfortable to have your little champagne tea party in the boat, stop somewhere for a picnic. Just remember to bring some nice blankets and pillows in that case.

A Romantic Walk Down Memory Lane

Take your partner for a trip down memory lane by taking them back to places that were important in your relationship. Take them to where you first met, where you shared your first kiss, where you first knew you loved them, where you had a really good laugh about something, where you had a great date, where you first lived together, and so on. You can plan this together or surprise them. Maybe write little poems about the different locations, or bring a polaroid camera and snap photos of yourself back in the various places.

Exchanging Gifts of Love

This is all about showing how much you care about your partner and why, so it requires a bit of thought and preparation.

Before the actual date (anniversary celebration), prepare small parcels with tiny, but meaningful, gifts that are related to your relationship. Start by writing down a list with everything you love about your partner. Then write a list with your favorite memories created with them. Pick 10 items from each list. Buy little trinkets you associate with each one of the items on the lists and attach a card where you write about it.

For example, buy an incense stick to signify your first meeting at a yoga place where they were burning incense. Attach a card to the gift and write what made your meeting so special, funny, quirky, etc.

Another example would be to give them a rose because one of the things you love the most about them is their romantic side. Of course, also attach a card and write down why you appreciate this.

When it comes to the actual date, you need some privacy to enjoy unwrapping the gifts, so a crowded restaurant is not the best place. Rather go for a walk in nature and give each other the gifts at scenic stops along the way, or rent a cottage for the weekend and exchange gifts at various times during your stay. The important thing is that you get to spend time alone where you can truly show your appreciation for each other.

A Night to Remember

All anniversaries should be nights to remember, and not because there is an epic storm or your bathroom gets flooded, but this one particular date is memorable because it’s… well… naughty. And naughty is nice, isn’t it?

This date is about celebrating what you love about your partner sexually – what turns you on about them. After all, anniversaries are all about celebrating your love for each other and that includes the naked kind of love you have for one another.

A few nights before the actual anniversary, ask your partner what kind of clothes he finds the sexiest on you as well as what lingerie he would most love to see you in. Likewise, tell him what clothes he wears that turn you on. Maybe you prefer him in jeans with no boxers or a suit and tie. The challenge is then to find and wear the kind of clothes your partner finds the sexiest on the actual date night.

You can both choose to get new clothes based on what the other would prefer, or dig something out of your wardrobe. If you decide to go shopping, you can do this together – especially the lingerie shopping, but you might not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you in the lingerie yet…let him wait! Or just send a photo from your phone when you are inside the fitting room trying it on, revealing a tiny bit of the look… You can also surprise each other on the day. It’s up to you.

There is one more thing you both have to do before the date (the most important part) – you have to think of the things that most turn you on about each other, as well as what you’d most like to do with each other in the bedroom. Don’t reveal your thoughts to one another just yet though.

Then, on the date night, go to a restaurant you both feel has a sexy vibe. During dinner, send each other texts or write each other little notes (the kind you sent your friends back in high school when the teacher wasn’t looking) about what most turns you on about each other; shower each other in sexy compliments in other words. Also, write notes about what you would love to do with each other in the bedroom.

When you get home, well, you know what to do as the notes you sent each other in the restaurant will have given you plenty of ideas. Just make sure to have some champagne and strawberries in the house as well – they just always seem to come in handy when it comes to seduction.

The Double Date

Nope, not a date where you get to bring your friends along (unless you really want to), but rather two dates in a row.

For you anniversary, set aside a weekend where you get to spend one day each taking the other on an all-day date.

To come up with what kind of dates you want to bring each other on, you each need to write down a list of what you love doing in general, what you find truly romantic to do, what you love and appreciate about your partner and what turns you on, or what you’d like to experience sexually (you can omit this if you want to – depends if you want some naughtiness thrown in there). Then exchange lists. Using the list your partner gave you, come up with a date where they get to experience what they love in general, find romantic, love in you, and find sexually exciting.

If you are feeling a bit stuck when reading their lists, or you simply can’t come up with a day-long date you think they would appreciate, ask friends to help you out and do some googling about interesting/creative date ideas.

Just be sure that you will also enjoy whatever kind of date you decide to take your partner on. Your partner may find skydiving romantic, but if the idea of throwing yourself out of an airplane doesn’t appeal to you, it’s not going to be a romantic date. Especially not when you turn green from fear and end up fainting. You will always be the main attraction when you are on a date with your partner – remember that. That means if you don’t enjoy yourself, neither will your partner.

You can do this kind of “double date” in the town where you live, or go away for the weekend to somewhere else. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you show your love for your partner by providing them with a 24-hour date you know they will love.

Maybe you’ve had your suspicions for a while now because you’ve noticed some of these signs, or maybe you were blissfully unaware until you found some incriminating evidence that you never wanted to stumble upon.

Maybe someone else saw something and thought it was only right that you should know. However you found out about your boyfriend’s infidelity doesn’t matter, but how you react to it does.

Chances are you’ll feel uncontrollable sadness to start with but, over time that might turn to anger and thoughts of revenge (but that’s almost never a good idea).

Here are some tips on how to cope with your boyfriend’s infidelity in better ways.

1. Let yourself cry

There’s no denying that finding out someone has cheated on you is overwhelmingly upsetting. Before you’ve had a proper chance to process the revelation there are all sorts of feelings and thoughts running around in your head; did he ever love me? Is it my fault? Am I not good enough? Is he anything like the person I thought he was?

At this stage it’s okay to cry if you feel like that’s what you need to do. No matter how you end up feeling about your boyfriend in the future, or how you decide to deal with his infidelity, it’s a devastatingly upsetting thing to find out.

2. Surround yourself with some good people

Grab your best friends and surround yourself with them for a while. Not only will you get to have a good girls’ night with your besties, either at a bar, or in your house with a good movie and a mountain of good food, but it’ll also give you something else to focus on.

If you spend too much time focusing on the infidelity you’ll end up becoming angrier, upset, or even obsessed with thinking about it, which is not good for your mental wellbeing.

Putting your health in jeopardy because of someone who apparently didn’t think that much of you when they were cheating is never a good idea, trust me.

3. Resist looking for the other woman on social media (if it’s someone you don’t know)

It’s so tempting, I know, but don’t go scrolling through Facebook looking for her. What will you do when you find her profile? Chances are you’ll scroll all the way back through her photos comparing yourself to her, finding all the good things about her that you don’t think you have.

If you don’t do that you’ll probably go the other way and pick out all her faults and flaws, no matter how tiny, and wonder why an earth he wanted her over you. Neither of these things are good things to do as they both make you feel awful about yourself.

It might seem like a good idea at the time, and you might want to see what she looks like just to get a sense of why he did it, but don’t. Put the phone down, close your laptop, switch off that iPad and you’ll feel better for it in the long run.

4. Try not to blame yourself

Again, this one is easier said than done, but try not to blame yourself for your partner’s infidelity. When you first experience a cheater it can be difficult to work out why they’ve done it so, more often than not, people settle on the reason being their fault.

For many people, this is the easiest explanation to understand. It’s important to remember, though, that someone cheating on you is almost never you’re fault. A lot of cheater’s are insecure in themselves so go looking for extra validation, or they’re too much of a coward to tell you that they think the relationship has run its course.

Sometimes people are just the worst and this is the only reason why they did it. There are multiple reasons why someone cheats, none of which are you.

5. Don’t set out for revenge

By all means joke about wanting to slash his tyres with your best girl-friends but for the love of god don’t actually do it! There’s far more at stake for you than him if you do this as you’re the one who is going to get into trouble, not him.

In the eyes of the law he’s done nothing wrong but by damaging his property (or him) you’re doing something illegal. They don’t care that you’ve just been spurned! Is risking going to jail because of a cheating boyfriend worth it? No is the answer I hope you just gave to this question!

Even if you’re not planning on doing something illegal as a form of revenge, don’t do it. Be the bigger person and one day you’ll be able to look back on how you handled this with pride.

6. Decide whether you want him gone or if you’re going to forgive

A lot of people have the mind-set that they would never forgive and take back a cheating partner. A lot of people have the mind-set that they would take a cheater back under ‘the right circumstances.’ A lot of people have gone their whole lives thinking that they would never take a cheating partner back only to do just that when it actually happens to them. There is no right or wrong mind-set to have here, it’s all about individual circumstance and experience.

A good thing to note here is also everyone has different thoughts and opinions about this type of situation. If you think you need advice then by all means listen to what other people would do, but ultimately it’s your decision.

Don’t end your relationship if you don’t want to just because everyone around you says they have no respect for women who take their cheating boyfriends back. Don’t stay with your boyfriend if you don’t want to just because that’s what everyone around you has done in the past.

When deciding whether to take him back or ditch him there’s a lot to consider. If you took him back could you forget about the cheating and move on or would you constantly be thinking he’s doing it again whenever he’s out?

If it’s the latter the best thing to do might be do end it, even if you still love him (if this is what you decide, here are some tips for how to break up with someone you love). If you think you could forget and you believe he’s sorry and you still want him in your life, then that’s up to you!

I know you probably don’t want to hear this but you also have to be aware that he might not want to carry on the relationship. If he’s cheated there’s a chance it’s because he no longer wants to be in a relationship with you or he wants to be with the other person instead.

Like I said at the beginning, finding out your boyfriend has cheated on you is one of the most devastating things to ever have to experience. It’s made a little easier, however, if you know the best and most effective way to cope with it. Cry if you need to, surround yourself with some good people, don’t blame yourself, and don’t set out for revenge.

Has anyone got any more helpful tips for coping with infidelity? Let us know in the comments!

It doesn’t knock often and when it does most people are too afraid to even open the door. There’s a reason the saying ‘crazy in love’ exists and it’s not just because of Beyonce.

It has that ability to drive you nuts and take you from a completely rational you to someone who is out of their mind in a blissed-out way.

The only thing harder than waiting for love to find you, though, is going out and actively searching for it. That’s not how love works so instead of looking for love in all the wrong places, live for you and the love will come.

1. You’ll find yourself

When you live for yourself instead of living for love, you’ll be able to really find yourself in a way that you can only do when you’re completely alone. You’ll find out who you truly are and you’ll be able to be your authentic self no matter what.

This comes into play when it comes to finding love in the sense that you’ll never lose yourself while in love ever again. It’s so easy to become someone entirely different in a relationship and it’s never a good thing.

It doesn’t help you keep love any better. In fact, that’s one of the easiest ways to lose it if you can manage to find it. Being true to yourself is important when it comes to being able to love another person so instead of looking for someone to love, find yourself first which brings me to my next point.

2. Love yourself first

The only person in the world that needs your love as much as you do, is you. Without truly loving yourself, how can you expect to love another? It’s said time and time again to those looking for love and it’s for good reason.

You have to know how to truly love another person and the best person to start out with is you. That way, not only will you learn how to love, you’ll also learn the type of love you’re willing to accept and the type of love you won’t put up with.

It’s important to know your worth and what you truly deserve before going out and looking for love. If you exude that confidence of a person who is truly happy with themselves, it will find you without you having to do anything at all.

3. You’ll be able to know what exactly you’re looking for

If you get to know yourself in such a way, you’ll know what kind of love you’re looking for and you won’t settle for less. You’ll know what your future partner should have and should be like.

This has nothing to do with credentials or looks, either, but more so in the way of how they will treat you. You’ll know that you aren’t looking for someone who disrespects you or someone that will fight just for the sake of break-up sex.

When you know exactly what you want, finding love is that much easier because instead of looking for it in someone that doesn’t have it, you’ll find it in someone by accident.

4. It’s too distracting to be looking for something so huge

Life altering things, such as love, aren’t something you can just find. It usually shows up out of the blue and without warning.

Looking for it is like looking for nothing in a haystack. Not to mention, if you’re too busy fixated on finding love, you’ll be distracted from all the wonderful things life has to offer.

If you’re not looking for love chances are you’re hanging out with your friends, succeeding in your career and have a plethora of other things going on in your life. You can be happy with a full life and not yet have found love because it’s only a matter of time if you keep yourself busy.

If you don’t, you’ll let life pass you by while you’re in wait. And that’s not a good thing. It won’t help it come any faster either. When you’re out living for you, you’ll have the chance to meet more like minded people than if you were to be sitting around surfing dating apps looking for your soulmate.

5. You can’t force love

The thing about true love is that it’s never forced. That’s why looking for it is counterproductive. Only true love will find you when you’re not trying to force it. This is because it’s all about chemistry and that’s something that just can’t be recreated or turned on if it doesn’t already exist there.

If you live for yourself and let love find you, it will be the real deal because you won’t have had time to overthink it or try and make something happen that just wasn’t supposed to happen.

It’s something that you just have to put on the back burner and then before you even notice it happening, you’ll be in love.

It’s just one of those types of things that the harder you look for it, the longer it will take for you to find. And if you do look for it too hard, you may end up with the wrong person altogether.

You’ll see someone a little better than they actually are because you get along as opposed to truly clicking with another person.

6. If you search for too long, you may become desperate

Desperation is something no woman wants to possess. It’s not done on purpose either, but when the loneliness of singlehood hits, it’s hard to avoid thinking and overthinking about the fact that you feel so lonely.

But if you become desperate for love, you’re not going to wind up finding true love at all. It’s going to lower your standards and allow you to feel bad about yourself.

When this happens, you end up with a guy who couldn’t possibly respect you as much as you deserve.

You’ll get wrapped up in something toxic all because of your need to find love when you don’t yet have it.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting love but you definitely won’t ever find it if you become desperate for it.

7. You don’t want to be in love with the idea of love

If you don’t live for you while you’re single, you’ll end up becoming obsessed with the idea of love as opposed to actually wanting a real relationship with someone. You’ll see every guy you meet as a potential partner without actually knowing why.

The idea of love is great and all, but it skews what true love actually is. If you live for yourself love will come and it will be a realistic type of love that you can enjoy for the rest of your life if you’re lucky.

Living for yourself and allowing love to find you is the best possible route a person can take if that’s what they want. If love is the end game, than live for you. it will happen eventually you just have to have faith.