While opposites do attract, it is important to have some common ground to build lasting relationships. Having shared values will allow you to connect more with your partner. This doesn’t mean that you try to turn your partner into another “you”. Rather, build a relationship where you see yourself spending your life with your partner. To understand which values you may or may not share, consider the following:
What Do You Surround Yourself With?
This is an important question to ponder upon because your partner will also become part of your surroundings. Consider your style of living. What are your most valued possessions? How do you like to furnish your living space? Do you like to live in the city or want to move to the suburbs? Answering these questions will help you realize how compatible you will be with your partner, once you start living together.
How Do You Spend Your Time?
This is probably the one place where most couples experience the pitfalls of their relationship. Everyone prioritizes themselves and their needs. They give time to the things which are important to them. However, in a relationship you have to allocate time for your partner as well. It is important to realize that your partner needs your time and attention. If you are having difficulty allotting time for him/her, you need to rethink your commitment.
How Do You Manage Your Finances?
What is important for you to purchase may not be for your partner. For example, you may live by the “you only live once” rule, with zero savings while your partner wants to save up for retirement. While such values are hard to share, you can compromise. Maybe you start saving a little more from your next paycheck and your partner starts spending a little more.
What Are Your Dreams And Future Plans?
When you are making someone a part of your future, you obviously have to share your future plans with them. Your dreams and goals also matter, because you will need your partner’s support to fulfill them. A lot of times people find that once they settle down with their significant other, they are not as fond of their career choice or the goals they are trying to pursue. It is important that you have your partner’s support in these matters otherwise it could place great strain on your relationship.
How Open Are You About Your Feelings?
Everyone expresses their emotions differently. Some find taking a small break from their relationship will allow them to bounce back, while others are emotionally dependent on their partners and want to talk about everything. This is a tough situation because if you know that your partner is emotionally stressed and choosing not to discuss it with you, it will probably drive you crazy. On the other hand, you may feel a little overwhelmed with your partner and you just need some space. This again calls for compromise, where one occasionally expresses their feelings and the other provides them space.