“Ok I know what I need to do,” my friend said as he walked through the front door on a crisp Sunday morning. I was eating a bowl of cheerios and turned around wondering what in the world he was talking about.
“Alright, so check this out! I talked to John and he said that he heard if I text her on a Monday after 4pm, then follow up with XYZ, but watch out for ABC, she may text me back.”
Does that sound like a strategy a confident person that knows their worth would say? Of course not. Why belittle yourself like that? What does that say about you? That you need to use a series of complex tactics to get the attention of your ex.
See, what you don’t know about my friend is that every week for the last 6 weeks he has come to me with other advice he’s heard from friends about what he should do and now he’s overwhelmed with options. He compares and contrasts each option and picks whichever one makes more sense to HIM at that very moment in conjunction with how he’s feeling.
Even though it may not be the correct move.
Take this guy. Mark Zuckerberg. His net worth — $52.3 Billion. Check out what he wears every single day:
A simple grey t-shirt.
Do you know why? So he doesn’t have to think about it. It’s one less decision. One less worry.
He gets up and knows what he needs to wear, he isn’t deciding between the purple cashmere sweater and the Kanye West style too-big-for-me sweaters. He’s eliminated being overwhelmed by eliminating his options.
This is what you need to do to be focused. While you are focused make sure that you don’t make any of these top four common mistakes.
Asking all your friends for advice does the opposite. You become overwhelmed and start to make panicked decisions.
To change where you are now, stop and ask yourself how many people are you getting advice from. What is your algorithm to decide which advice is best? This is why getting advice from one source is best.
It doesn’t have to be me. I’m just some dude from the Internet. It could be me, could be reddit, could be anywhere you want. But, you can’t focus on what you need to do by crowdsourcing and taking polls.
This leads to confusion. And ultimately, leads to dishonesty in your ex’s eyes.
It will be challenging to not bring up your ex to people you are already talking to. Just tell them, “Listen, I’ve decided I do not want to talk about my ex anymore.”
That’s all. They’ll respect you if you are direct & concise. Don’t beat around the bush.
There will be times when certain people may approach you and tell you that they know that one-magical-text that you can send. I have bad news for you. There is no such thing. At the end of the day, your behavior is 10x more important than any text message you could possibly send.
If you want my coaching advice, just send me an email. The first email is always free and all my coaching services are backed by a money back guarantee.
Payam Pakmanesh, is the author of getyourexback.co. He’s fanatical about self-improvement and growing as a person. Sign up for his newsletter and receive a free copy of his e-book “Get Your Ex Back: 5 Texts You Should Never, Ever Send,” about how to respark that attraction and what you shouldn’t do before you lose your ex forever.