It should be obvious if somebody likes you, except it isn’t always that simple. Sometimes you need somebody to tell you the truth, to sit you down and tell you that this guy you’ve fallen for isn’t interested. Sure, it might be hard to accept, but it’s better than having your time wasted.

Pay attention to the way he talks to you, looks at you, if he treats you differently to his other friends. Some guys appear to be interested, but as quickly as it rises it fades again.

And it leaves you feeling frustrated and very confused. Here’s how to find an answer to the one question that has been driving you mad – is he interested?

He never initiates conversation

If he always waits for you to start the conversation that’s a very clear sign that he’s not into you. A guy who is interested will be eager to talk to you, even if it’s about nothing important.

When we like someone, we are going to reach out to them. We will text, call, make plans, just so we can be around that person and listen to their voice. We will even make excuses just to talk to them. We can’t get enough.

If he never initiates conversation first, it probably means that he doesn’t care if he talks to you or not. Your conversations may be exciting, and perhaps he does like you to an extent, but it’s clear that he doesn’t like you enough to pursue a relationship. Nothing is going to happen – walk away and find someone who will make an effort.

He doesn’t pay attention

If he doesn’t pay any attention or shows a clear lack of interest whenever you’re talking, that’s a red flag. He really couldn’t care less and he’s not making any effort in trying to pretend that he does.

When a guy likes you he will genuinely love being in your company. He will make eye contact with you when you’re talking and will be hanging on your every word. Anything less than that is a likely sign that he doesn’t like you.

He doesn’t ask about your life

It’s a bad sign if he doesn’t show any interest in finding out more about you. There might be a bond between you two, but if he doesn’t try to get you to open up, it means he couldn’t care less.

He might like the idea of you, but his hesitancy to know you better is an indication that he doesn’t think of you in a romantic way, therefore he feels that he has no reason to ask you questions about your life.

He makes excuses

Any guy who repeatedly makes excuses isn’t worth your time. The usual ones are; he’s too busy, he’s tired, something happened at work. If it happened once or twice, it’s not a big deal.

But if he is always canceling on you last minute it’s a clear indication that he doesn’t value your time, therefore he isn’t bothered about not seeing you.

When a guy is really interested, he’s not going to leave you hanging. He will want to see you at every opportunity, even if it means putting other things on hold. You should let this one go – he’s not into you.

You’re never alone

When you initiate plans, he always suggests inviting other people. It could be that he is shy and wants to get comfortable with being around you first, or it could be that he’s not interested in you at all.

It’s hard to get to know someone when there are other people around and it makes it near impossible to have any kind of intimacy. When there’s a group of people, you are less likely to have a heart-to-heart conversation or any physical contact for that matter.

Other people are watching and it can feel like an intrusion. If a guy intended on having an intimate moment with you, he wouldn’t invite other people.

Notice how he is around you – does he treat you any different? It seems that by inviting a group of people, it sets some kind of boundaries. He might like you but he only sees you as a friend and he wants to make that clear.

He talks about other girls

Nothing says ‘I don’t like you’ as much as a guy who talks about his feelings for other girls. If he casually mentions other girls in conversation, that’s a very likely sign that he doesn’t see you in a romantic sense.

There’s a very small chance that he is trying to make you jealous or at least get your attention, but a guy usually wouldn’t risk losing your interest by doing this. And if he starts talking about having feelings for another girl, you can be sure that he isn’t interested in you.

He’s a slow texter

Someone’s texts are usually a good indication of their level of interest. You reply within minutes but he takes a lot longer. Of course, some people are slower at replying for many reasons.

He could be at work. He could have left his phone in another room. But if he takes a day or two to reply then it’s usually a clear skin that he’s not interested. If he takes even longer than that, you have a definite answer.

Also, notice the length of his messages. Does he send one worded replies? Or a simple ‘yeah’ or ‘I don’t know’ as that shows he’s not really engaged in the conversation. If he was interested he would send longer messages and ask questions to find out more about yourself.

He would make an effort to keep the conversation going. Short replies usually indicate that a conversation is coming to an end.

He doesn’t treat you any different

To put it simply if a guy treats you like one on his friends – or worse, one of the guys – it means he sees you as a friend. If he liked you, there would be a difference in the way he interacts with you than he does with others. He may put his arm around you or try to be closer to you than others.

A guy wouldn’t treat you as just a friend if he was trying to impress you. He would make an effort to show you how he feels.

A disappearing act

This is one of the most obvious indications that he doesn’t like you. Disappearing for days or weeks at a time, or ‘ghosting’, shows a disregard for your feelings and therefore he is not worth your time.

There are many reasons why he has ghosted on you, it could be that he has found someone else, or it could be that he doesn’t know how to tell you that he’s not interested. Whatever the reason, he should be honest with you instead of leaving you wondering what happened.